Saturday, October 20, 2007

My Motivation To Miss Hell

You Can Quote Me on That
“I have heard it said that two heads are better than one. Whoever said that
obviously took ‘personality’ out of the equation”

What a beautiful morning after such a dreary week...rain, rain, rain. Not the hard stuff. Although, we did occasionally get the “hard stuff”. We mostly got the gentle down pour. And when it wasn’t raining, it was still cloudy.
But this morning…wow!
I realized something about myself this week. (Self-Actualization – Abraham Maslow would be so proud of me). I was teaching my bible class, “Life of Christ”, and sharing with the class my soul shaking fear of not wanting to die. I told them that I want to “…live forever…” I also told them that I am afraid of hell and that I don’t want to go there. I also told them that hell isn’t physical torture on an earthly body, but rather unquenchable misery.
As I was sipping my fine cup of java this morning, I realized the origin of this fear.
As a youngster, my dad gave me a lot of latitude. He would let me do things on my own as long as I followed the rules. Specifically, if we went to a store, I could wonder away to section that appealed to me just as long as I “didn’t touch”, and when he was ready to leave, I was to be ready to leave.
I wasn’t too bad about it. Every once-in-awhile I would get the message “I’m gonna’ leave you!” I would very quickly put down what I was doing and make a dash for my dad. You see my dad meant what he said.
One day I was with my dad at a K-Mart® more than 4 miles from home. I must have been about 9 or 10 years old. He went there to get parts for his truck so he could tune it up and change the oil and filters. That was boring to me. So, I headed of a few isles over to the toy section. Not a problem. I saw my dad make a move for the front of the store. I was right behind him. He then got in line behind 5 or 6 people that had a lot of stuff. It was the only cash register open. I stood there for what seemed like a whole hour bored out of my mind. It was probably 10 seconds. That’s when I noticed my second favorite place in the store…the comic book section. So while dad was waiting in line, I thought I would catch up on Spiderman (my favorite) and batman.
It was a great spot! From where I was, I could see my dad and the front doors. I was right at a good spot with Spidey and Doc Oc when I heard my dad’s voice say “I’m Leaving”. I know I responded verbally but I didn’t even look up. I had to finish this! I figured I was a couple a seconds behind my dad. It was probably more like 10 minutes. I have a terrible reality of time. I darted for the door. I went to where my dad parked…he was gone. I got left behind.
I cannot begin to tell you about the anguish I felt. I can’t describe it. I lost my security. I lost my dad’s favor. I would eventually have to deal with his wrath and judgment.
I began to walk home. I watched at every turn, every corner to see if he would be there. He wasn’t. This wasn’t an idle threat. This was for real!
I began to think of what he was going to say, what my punishment was going to be when I got home. That was as bad as being left behind. I cried…a lot.
I thank God for this experience.
The anguish I felt as a child felt like an eternity. It took me an hour and a half to walk home. Friend, that was just a little taste of what hell will be like. With hell, there is no second chance. There is no tomorrow. Hell is an eternity of anguish with no chance for change.
I never want to experience that emotion again. I am motivated to make heave my home at all cost.Heaven – Don’t Miss It!