Saturday, January 17, 2015

“Silly Rabbit, Smart Phone’s are for Kids!”

I believe there is a conspiracy afoot! In this day and age of accepted political correctness, non-profiling and supposed fairness to all, I believe there is a dark and insidious plot against the “post 40” crowd to keep them away from mobile electronic devices! I did not recognize this dastardly thinking for some time. In fact, I gave it no thought until it began to affect me, personally!
Maybe you have been a victim of this conundrum too. If you observe closely, you will see the majority of the users on mobile devices are “pre 40” in age. Maybe you have witnessed commercials of “pre 40” people dancing, computing, communicating…enjoying life to the fullest? This is proof that the manufacturers of these devices are practicing…discrimination! That’s right…discrimination!
       For you see, I, too, wanted to be one of the happy people like in the commercials. I wanted to dance and sing and frolic with my mobile device while connecting to web on a whim. Then, my joy was stolen from me. I was robbed! For when I purchased my mobile device, I could not communicate fluidly. I could not surf the web consuming information and sharing selfies! What brought about my pain? What caused my joy to turn to sorrow? …
        The manufacturers of these devices have plotted against us by making the buttons to small! I have sausages for fingers (and so do a lot of other men over 40). Try typing out text messages, or URL’s or anything else! It takes 10 minutes to text my wife “I luv u”! If I can touch one letter at a time, it would be a miracle. And “Autocorrect”…don’t even go there! I’ve been embarrassed just to read some of the messages that it created for me. Thank God I didn’t send them!

        The “Bill of Rights” states that I have the right for the pursuit of happiness. Therefore it is my belief that until they manufacture mobile devices for my fat, little pudgy fingers….they are unconstitutional.