Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Food: A Love Story

I love Food. I mean, I love Food! I’m not sure when this love affair began. I can remember in the early days when I was immature, young and thin, I didn’t pay attention to Food. I knew it was there. I partook of it, but only to take advantage of the relationship. I’m sure I was abusive to it as I would ravage the Food and walk away. With my tummy full, I wouldn’t return again until I felt the desire to eat thinking only of myself and my needs.

Somewhere in time, Food caught my eye. Yes, when I was young it was Food’s more revealing states that would cause me to lust. With just a glance, Food could bring on the hunger. Whip cream, meringue, melting butter, pies, cakes, cookies….. and doughnuts caught my attention. Indeed, as a young man I was infatuated by the desserts. I thought they were racy. They caused my heart to skip a beat and I felt my metabolism could be satisfied by them alone.

As I became older and my waistline began to mature, so did my affair with Food. At that point the racy view of hot banana nut muffins coming out of the oven or the smell of fresh baked bread was not the cause of my heart skipping a beat (although it still brought a smile to my face). Those emotions had been replaced with the visually esthetic mushroom caps stuffed with lobster and the smell of a dry rub, grilling rib eye steak.

I have come to realize that Food is a cruel master. Food turned the tables on me. (Pun intended). It held me in its grip and mocked me as it trashed my body. Armed with this epiphany, it pains me to say that we have been estranged for a while. And now, I don’t see food as often as I use too. I no longer steal away midnight rendezvous’ at the refrigerator. In fact, we have a strict visitation schedule.

The realization of what Food has done, taking my affection and shoving back in my face, has left me feeling used and abused. All the pain from over eating, the embarrassment of loosening my belt buckle, the gas and the indigestion has to stop. I am bringing an end to the abuse caused by Food! I am severing the relationship!

Even though it ended badly, I look back on the affair with great fondness. Can you relate?