I have discovered that I have a relationship with my computer. My wife is aware of this so it’s o.k. It is a love-hate relationship. When my computer works, I love it. When it doesn’t…I hate it!
I believe my computer to be an aesthetic adolescent…really. Let me explain. It sits on my desk looking stately and intelligent. Then, when I go to use it, it doesn’t want to work. We all know teenagers just like that. When I make it work, it gets an attitude. It will slow down, or not display all the information. And just when I think I have it under control, it starts correcting me. You can’t do this. You can’t do that. Line error. Then my computer will mock me by speaking in code. "Error 17". It knows that I don’t know what error 17 is. If I listen really hard, I can hear my computer snickering when I turn my back.
I also don’t like the company it keeps. My computer hangs around this other adolescent called "internet" and gets my computer into trouble. Internet behaves in front of me because it knows that I’ll pull the plug on ‘em. However, when I’m not watching, Internet will coerce my computer to go anywhere. I can usually tell when they take one of those trips together because my computer will get sick and come down with a virus. Of course, I’ll have to be the one to pay the bill for it to get better.
I can’t discipline my computer for its behavior. It has no feelings. So, it won’t do any good to spank it, or speak harshly to it. The only sense of satisfaction comes when I exercise the only real power I have over my computer. I turn it off. And that my friends, is a power that no one has over a teenager!
2 comments:
If only the problems that parents have with teenagers were as "easy" to fix as the problems we have with computers. I finally came to terms with the fact that parents can't blame their son's or daughter's friends for the trouble their children get into. Even teenagers who tend to be followers express their God given free will to choose their own friends and the activities in which they participate. Parents know that they can't really "make" their teenager do anything, and neither can their peers. They do what they want when they know they can get away with it.
Teens express thier need to become independent adults many different ways. Unfortunately they don't always have the maturity to make the right decisions and sometimes the more parents push, the harder the teen pushes back and does the opposite of what we want just to express thier individuality.
I was listening to a college lecture on the TV one day that gave me some comfort. The doctor talked about the teenage girl's brain (I assume the same to be true for boys only the time frame may be a little different). She said that teenagers make impulsive decisions because of the way their brains are wired. All of the neural connections that need to be in place for a girl to begin to make logical/rational decisions most of time aren't completly established until around the age of 25. I thought when I heard that, "thank God there is still hope." Now I am beginning to see that maturity factor start to kick in and some of the good council that I tried to establish is starting to make its appearance.
We can pray for our teens, but we have to let them grow up. We can only hope that they learn from their mistakes and don't make the kinds of mistakes that hurt for a lifetime.
I remember my teenage years. I was a pretty good kid and a christian. Yet, I made many mistakes. I was pretty mature, but I made some decisions at a very young age that if I had taken sound advice and used my head rather than my emotions, I would have done a few things very differently. We live with our decisions and make the best of it. That's life.
However, it is hard to let go of our children and let them make their own mistakes. We want to protect them from all of the mistakes that we made. Yet,it is a part of growing up.
The only answer is to pray and to love them no matter what. Never pull the plug or turn them in for a newer model.
We should talk sometime. Teenagers can be unbelievable. They can break your heart like you never thought it could be broken. Then, they turn around and make you prouder than you ever thought you could be. Hang in their. You have four more to go.
If it is any encouragement, they are all different. My second teen has been a breeze. Sometimes I wonder if he has something wrong with him. He is so easy, so smart, so rational, so self motivated, so loving, so good and he makes such wise choices in friends. I pray that he always stays that way.
To AFAD:
As a point of reference, usually when I talk about teens I'm not talking about my own but rather those in my youth ministry. I have come to learn that parenting is like teaching kids how to ride a bike. There is the phase that one day they will ride. Then that day comes with training wheels. Then the training wheels come off. Then comes the lessons of safety and where to ride and how far. Then comes the day they trade the bike in for powered wheels. You start all over. Then you come to the place when you don't instruct but you have conversations about experinces. We never quit parenting we just change strategies. In fact I would have to say the number one prablem with modern teens is exactly that."Parents quit parenting" Thank you for you thoughts... we must talk sometime.
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